I was going to write a really heartfelt moving post about how this recent hibernation stage was like my own mini-cocooning in preparation to emerge as a butterfly, reborn and ready to take on the world.
And then I remembered that stuff like that makes me want to barf.
The truth is I AM embarking on something new. I am headed here for a month:
While there, I will be focusing on all the things that *used* to make me happy before I became all wrapped up in this idea that love was just around the corner waiting for me. Turns out love doesn't live on my street. I've checked all four corners.(It's not in the elevator either...I know how you think.) Unless there's some hidden fifth corner or love is on the roof or something, I'm kind of done. I don't want to play hide and go seek with my love life anymore. I also want to quit using this metaphor.
Before you freak out, I'm not saying I'm closed off to love, I'm just done going out and calling it like a lost puppy. Because you see I was very, VERY happy with my life - alone- before I hung a sharp left to Rejectionville about a year ago. (Rejectionville actually *does* live on every corner- if I were still using that metaphor and all.) I'm going back to being my own One again.
Because, honestly, Tom...*I* complete me.
My Baker's Dozen of Guidelines for Finding Happy with Myself (Again):
1. Less Technology, More Talk. (With voices, not typing.)
2. Take a beat. (Emotional decision-making, anyone? Hmmm...perhaps less often would be better.)
3. Pay attention to things that make me feel very happy in the doing or the after-doing. And things that don't. (Do: Long Walks with the LDog. Don't: Coffee dates at Au Bon Pain.) Try lots of things.
4. More reading. (Not the interwebs.)
5. More quiet. (I've already stopped using my headphones everywhere I go and gotten comfortable again with silence inside my house. AH-mazing.)
6. Approach people as they are, not as who I want them to be/think they should be/who they were.
7. Do something nice & unselfish for someone else daily. Or more.
8. Don't play games. (As in, with the mind...not parcheesi.)
9. Get a little uncomfortable every now and then. Reflect on the outcome afterwards.
10. Be direct.
11. Don't give an opinion when no one is asking for one. (Just failed at this today...BUT...)
12. Accept that I can't/won't/never will be perfect. Stop judging myself for "failures" and "rejections" and see them instead as opportunities.
13. Give without expectations or don't give at all.
I did not take a picture of this, because, honestly, it looks like baby poo. But, it's delicious and packed with amazing healthy things. Maybe serve it in a colored glass? Or sip it through a fancy straw? Close your eyes?
Serves 2 (about 100 calories per serving and 3 servings of your F&V for the day!)
1/2 cup of parsley (leaves or leaves/stems...parsley is great for fighting inflammation)
4 kale leaves (ribs removed)
1 cup of mixed berries (frozen)
1/4 cup of fresh orange juice
1/4 cup of water
1 teaspoon ground flax seed (I buy seeds in bulk and grind them in my coffee grinder.)
Blend that all up. For a second, it will look really green and pretty. Then, it will turn the color of baby poo. However, after having this for breakfast, I did not feel the need to nap today. And that is a small victory, people.