Expectations

I'd like to begin this post by objectifying men:

You're Welcome

Not Unexpected Things This Week:

• Creepy Stalker dudes: Dimples Emoticon (there and also here) reminded me he's still around with a "Que pass :(?" message. Last time I checked, this means nothing in any language. Still, this guy is so (a) persistent (b) ridiculous and (c) attractive, that it kind of made me think again about dating him just for the potential gold mine of a story and my curiosity. I unofficially polled a few of my girlfriends to see whether they thought that was crazy. One of them was my NYC, brunette dating doppelganger over at 100FD. Of course, she needed to take a peek at his profile, easy enough since we're both members on OkC. As soon as she did (OkC tells you who's looked at your profile), SHE got a message from Dimples that was actually the VERY SAME message I first received from him. I'm so tempted to bust him on this, but I fear he's not bright enough to get the joke.
• Wimpy dudes: An email from a guy with an intriguing profile who only had a picture like the below posted. When I asked if he was in witness protection and hinted it was shady not to have a picture of your face, he replied "I prefer not to have my picture on here :)". This is two strikes for: (a) being the trite cliche of the Guy Who Still Thinks Internet Dating is Embarrassing. No self-respecting woman wants to date this dude. Get over yourself already. This isn't 1999. No one cares. Put up a picture or expect no dates. Also, grow some balls. (b) Improper use of emoticon. How is that statement smiley? I HAVE pictures up, so we're not in cahoots, champ. A silly grin won't hide your sketchy lack of confidence.

• Cheesy Dudes: I fear I have reached an age where you can no longer refer to me as "cutie". Flattering, yes. Appropriate, no. Also, for approximately the 106, 567th time, women hate messages that say only, "hey, ____ [insert purely superficial adjective], what's up?" This is NOT an opener for an intelligent or witty conversation. Stop it.

Unexpected Things This Week:

• Ballsy Dudes: Remember this whole proclamation that I'm going to view men as people not potential from here on out? Get to know them as friends and take it from there? Apparently, you have to make sure the MEN are on the same page as you about this or the plan goes awry. My date this week was fine. Typical. I wasn't feeling it romantically, which was not a problem since my whole goal was to see if I liked the guy as a person. Our conversation was clunky, he was so low key I had trouble relating to him, I'm pretty sure I was both taller and broader than him, just very meh, in general. Still, he was a nice guy, smart, we had a few things in common. By the time we wrapped up the date, I felt like we both must know we hadn't really clicked on any level. I used the word "friend" a lot during the conversation. (This is where the unexpected part comes in.) I'm used to guys not always getting the message. I'm used to feeling somewhat ambivalent about a perfectly lovely guy. I'm used to slightly awkward post-date conversations. What I am not used to is the guy who breaks off the goodbye-hug on a crowded street corner, just as my cab arrives, to pull me in for a first date kiss. Hell, I can't even remember (HONESTLY CANNOT RECALL) kissing on the first date that I did not initiate. Huh. Now, no matter what I decide about this guy, I certainly can't call him a coward. (Incidentally, a word I use quite often to describe men.)  I gave this guy no signals that I was interested in him, and he still went for it. Pretty damn confident. Did not see that coming.

Other Tidbits for your weekend pondering:

• My new favorite Tumblr: Yo, Should I Dump This Asshole? 
• This entry from Suri's Burn Book (soon to be an actual book!)
• Channing Tatum. Um...I just watched The Vow, which I didn't really care for, expecting him to be the weak link and Rachel McAdams to be the selling point. Wrong. I actually found him not-so-lunky and kind of charming. He's not my type, but I bought him as an actor. Can someone back me up here and tell me I'm not crazy? Also, thanks to Entertainment Weekly, I'm now kind of excited to see him again in this. I don't usually get revved up by what my mom would refer to as "beefcake", but I'm intrigued, I'll admit.
• Mad Men on Bravo's Inside the Actor's Studio. Did you watch? Did you also find January Jones actually, gasp, likeable? Shocking.
• Finally, if anyone is watching Bravo's Top Chef/Amazing Race knockoff "Around the World in 80 Plates", just try to tell me Nick doesn't look exactly like the guy who was not Ryan Reynolds from Two Guys, A Girl and A Pizza Place. 

Happy Weekend, Everyone!